Friday, 9 November 2012

Bessie, Sophie, Louise and Inky

A few years ago I had a beautiful puppy named Bessie, I loved her. Zach loved her. She was sweet. She died in November 2008. I was devastated, Dim had moved out a year and a half before that, but was still tooing and froing and coming and going. He was wrecked about her dying as well.
He dropped Zach off at child care, then picked Bessie up from the vet, brought her home and dug a hole for her to be buried. He didn't want Zach to see Bessie dead. Zach was nearly four.
Four years later Zach still asks about Bessie whenever the topic of death comes up. I told Zach that Bessie was dead, explained as best I could, he didn't understand until a year later when both guinea pigs Sophie and Louise died. When he saw what dead was, and that they were being buried, he wanted to know where Bessie was buried. A few times he tried to dig her up, he wanted to see her. He never tried to dig up Sophie or Louise, I think because he saw them dead, he saw them buried, case closed.
Friday night I discovered Inky the Siamese fighter was dead, sunk at the bottom of his bowl. Zach howled and wanted me to call the fish hospital. We left Inky in his bowl that night. That night we talked about what happens at funerals. I said people say prayers and talk about the person who died, usually nice things are said. Zach liked that.
Saturday morning, we found a little box, put in some cotton wool, a bit of fabric, laid Inky inside, then another bit if fabric on top off him. We were having visitors that morning, so the funeral would have to wait until the afternoon. Zach took pride in showing a dead Inky in his coffin to our visitors. Zach wanted a tombstone, so I found a big flat Pebble from the garden and wrote Inky with red nail polish on it. Zach wanted numbers on it, but no room for dates.
He choose a spot under some flowers for the burial site, daisies.
I dug the hole, put in Inky and covered him up and Zach put down the tombstone. I asked Zach "did you want to say anything, like Inky was a good pet" he did.
He said "Dear God, Inky was a good pet, in Jesus name, Amen." I like it, he combined eulogy and prayer, Mr Efficient.
The next day he asked again about Bessie dying. I asked him if he would feel better if we gave Bessie and the guinea pigs tombstones, yes he would. So I found a few more stones and wrote their names on them. First to the area by the front door "Dear God, Bessie was a good pet, in Jesus name, Amen"
Then to the back courtyard "Dear God, Sophie and Louise were good pets, in Jesus name, Amen"
I asked Zach if he felt better because we gave our pets tombstones
"Yes" then he went off to play in the toyroom
I think the ritual of a funeral and saying good bye is needed, sometimes even for a fish named Inky

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Spinach and Ritalin

Some days I crave something sweet. I haven't had anything sweet since the 16th of August, I quite sugar after Zach's major dental work. I've replaced sugar with dextrose which is only glucose and not as sweet as cane sugar which is half glucose and half fructose. Fructose is the baddy for teeth. So the last few nights at work, I've had a cappuccino with chocolate on top, I haven't had that in ages and it was so so yum.
Zach had a paediatrician appointment first week back at school. I talked about Zach's concentration and getting him to focus on his school work. Doctor talked about Ritalin. Big deep breaths and major internal panic. That is not what I want for my child.
I spoke with Dim, it's not what he wants for his child either. I know someone whose child is on Ritalin and she talks it up, but I am not convinced. Of course I wikipediaed Ritalin and not good.
I also googled gluten and autism, I had talked about going gluten free a few years ago and Dim was very reluctant to deal with that. But now he is totally on board and Zach is on a gluten free diet at both houses. So I am gluten free too, I think it will be just easier if we both go gluten free together. So I've been googling recipes, I've made gluten free pizza and it was great! Found rice bread at health food shop and it is good toasted and Zach is eating it. Will see how it goes. Have also discovered amazing gluten free bread at The General Store Cafe in Emerald, I can buy the mix and make it myself! Zach's last gluten meal was this cake that I made for a friends little girl. She turned three and was so excited to eat the ladybug.
So amidst all this diet changes, Zach has been expanding his food choices, we had Mexican the other night, with real corn tortillas and spinach, I hate chopping up iceberg lettuce so I bought a bag of spinach leaves. Zach ate the tortilla with the spinach and then ate more spinach from the bag. Of course I can't convince him that spinach is not from Mexico.
I got a bit down, my car's rear window was smashed just for the hell of it. Nothing was stolen and it put a dent in my week big time. But I recover.
I have been rejuvenated by all this lovely weather that we have been having. My garden is looking great, I have been getting out there, and I am making a spot for my chook house and new chooks, next week I think, still deciding what sorts of chooks. Isa browns are good and decided to convert an old cupboard into a coop.
My avocado tree was covered in tiny flowers, could mean that I am in for a bumper crop this year, peaches next door are full of cute, tiny, furry peaches. Jane said I could have the fruit, poached peaches in marsala with vanilla cream, looking forward to that.
Zach 'fixed' the swing next door with a log from his 'mine' really the pile of stuff next to the wood pile. Thought it was very inventive of him.