Comfort zone

School has been back for about three weeks now, we getting back into a routine. A bit hard when the weather is a bit extreme and you don't handle the heat very well and also nearly out of melatonin. Getting a new script tomorrow. Zach states he hates school and that he is allergic to it. But if you had seen him last year, you would think he was a different boy, we get to school, he carries his bag to class, walks in no worries and has even been sitting with the others on the floor at mat time. No tears or tantrums, such a relief.
Each weekend if I'm not working, we have gone out. Zach would like to stay at home and just play, but there is a whole big world out there. So out of the comfort zone we go.

We went to China town in the city, at Chinese new year. Waiting for the parade, with the crowds was pretty full on for Zach. When the lion dance started and all the fire crackers went off, he hid in one of the port-a-loos until the parade went further down the street. Then of course he had to show me how the port-a-loos flushed with a foot pedal, that was a highlight!
I was so proud of him, he did cope well, lunch time was so out of his comfort zone. We had a Thai rice noodle soup, the spouts and Thai basil and chili on the side. So impressed, we added all the condiments on the side to the soup and he ate, most of it.
We ended our afternoon at the national gallery, we had our hot chocolate and coffee in the members lounge.

A week later, I challenged him twice. We went to one of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra free summer concerts, to listen to some Beethoven, symphony  no.2. We had some friends unexpectedly join us. They noticed the benefit of us going gluten free, Zach was so animated and talkative and understandable.
Our discussion on the way to the bowl. "Beethoven is dead?" yes he is, he lived a long time ago" is he in heaven? I think he might be. "he makes music for God" Yes he does, the most beautiful music you will hear" Beethoven's symphony no. 9 Ode to Joy, my favourite! I truly love Ode to Joy and I've booked myself a ticket to hear it later this year.

I was given tickets from my lovely little reds friend to go see an exhibition, fashion meets fiction. Gorgeous vintage dresses.
Zach was suitably bored, he tolerated being there, but only just because he had possession of the iPhone. Can't win them all.

Summer, summer, summer

It has really felt like summer holidays! We have been enjoying them. Zach and I went camping at the start of jan with friends at Badger Creek. We love camping. It was so nice to get away. Zach and his friends walked up and down the creek, looking for the crays that lived there. We spent a lot of time in the pool, Zach's favourite thing to do was jump into the pool, make a big splash, get out and repeat.
We went to Healesville Sanctuary, we got up close to echidnas and got to feed them. They are really the cutest!










We went to the old railway station in Healesville and Zach was so excited to see that they had an old steamy there. In major need of restoration, Zach loved it!

No campfires because of fire restrictions, we even had to delay going home because there were grass fires less then five kilometres from home. Next school holidays we will go camping again, it will be a bit cooler and we can sit around the fire at night with hot chocolates for sure.
Because of the fire warnings, I have all our photo albums and documents all packed, ready for if we have to leave. Some days we left anyway, just to hot to stay. We went to the city with a friend from work and her little boy. We headed to Fed Square and checked out this amazing woven house! My weaving willow friend would love this!

We spent nearly two hours in the air conditioned bliss that is the National Gallery of Victoria, then another afternoon was spent at the swimming pool, Zach now wants me to dig a swimming pool in our yard.
We spent another day at the Melbourne Zoo with one of my friends.

Our second visit and we still haven't seen everything, I think we will be going every school holidays.

Yes, our summer holidays were fun! Xoxo

saying prayers for a chook

This was meant to be a really happy new year post, about how I'll be making olliebollan this afternoon, about my New Year's Eve. But it's not, sorry.
I was also going to write a post on the chicks that Zach and I got a few weeks ago and them growing up, but that won't be happening either.
I did work last night, I had a good shift. I got home at 3:30 slept until 7 this morning, let out the chooks went back inside, read all the 'happy new year stuff' on Facebook. About to back to sleep, big knock on my door. My neighbour 'A' was sobbing, I got so worried for her.

She was sobbing because her two dogs had got out and all my chooks were gone.
Disbelief, I went to the coop, I just saw all the still bodies. I could see two were still breathing, they went in our arms, I just couldn't do the neck wringing, so we just held them until they went.
I got a box, and A collected the others, one chicken was still alive.
She was alert and she might be ok, if she makes the next 24 hours, then I think she will be ok. She is in shock, she is drinking and being kept warm in the ensuite, I can hear her shuffling in her box.

I have a headache from crying and I am so tired.

I took this photo of some of my girls yesterday, they were seven weeks old. I loved that they would run out to see me.

the concept of Santa

Christmas Eve is was just Zach and me. During the day we went and visited a house n Macclesfield, the owners had decorated there house inside and out to raise money for the Macclesfield fire station. We had an early dinner, opened presents, then went down to the Menzies Creek Station, where a lot of the Menzies Creek people were meeting for Christmas drinks and catch ups. So relaxing, meet new people in the area. Zach thought it was a great party at the station and just had to take his newest engine 'Luke' along.

Sometime in September or October, We were at Big W and Zach heads straight for the trains or the Lego to dream and imagine. He so wanted 'Luke' from 'Thomas and blue mountain mystery' I convinced him that could be a birthday or Christmas present. So left with relative ease, I don't want to buy toys every time we go out. The day after his birthday, he said 'you forgot Luke" Yes I did. I thought I have to get 'Luke' but I dread going to the shopping centres at this time of year, so many people, all pushing and touching, all hot and smelly, I hate it. I do not understand the attraction of the boxing day sales either, ugh! Well I was given a Coles gift card for Christmas from work, so a few days later at a Coles (where I never usually shop, too far) going down the aisles getting groceries, they have a small toy section. With some Thomas engines! Hello, there's Luke! and he is half price! I grabbed him and a friend and hid them under the potato flour. Zach found me in the next row and I was so smug. I wouldn't let him look at everything in the trolley, because I had a surprise for him.

So Christmas Eve, opening presents Zach was full of enthusiasm. He loved everything! Opening his board games "Oh Penguins!" So excited to get Luke and Sidney both Thomas and friend engines. Later after all the paper cleaned up and Zach playing, he says "oh mum, your so great" because he knows the presents are from me and I get all the credit.

Zach knows of Santa, he sees him on cards, out shopping, in movies. But I have never said hey these presents here are from Santa. He has just known that they are from me. When I was little, the presents were from my parents, I don't remember believing in Santa. I also remember other children telling me what they got from Santa and me thinking 'didn't your parents get you anything' then thinking maybe Santa is for those whose parents forgot or can't give anything.
Each year at primary school, we would pick a name and have to buy a present. I went to a primary school where most family's had dutch ancestry, so each year the presents would be delivered by St. Nicholas. Very exciting and each year was the question whose dad is dressed up this year. Though looking back some in my class wouldn't have wondered that, and really believed.

I also wasn't brought up with the Easter bunny. Chocolate eggs have nothing to do with Christianity so I never knew about the Easter bunny. I remember in kinder all of us children making little baskets and having to put them next to our bags and at home time they were all full of chocolate eggs. At the time I didn't ask why, I was five and had two older brothers. If I was given chocolate, I ate it quick. If I had asked my brothers on the school bus home why I was given chocolate, no explanation about Easter bunny would have been given I assure you. My brothers would have said that is to share with us and taken the lot. But I don't feel I've missed out.

Zach thinks Christmas is wonderful, he loves the lights, the tree, the presents, mumma baking shortbread. He knows that Christmas is about Jesus Birthday and that we go to Luna park for Jesus birthday. We actually go for my work's family Christmas party. There is as Santa there too, but Zach won't go near him.

Some people say I should make Zach believe in Santa, to make Christmas more magical and wonderful. I wasn't lead to believe in Santa and thought Christmas was such a wonderful and magical time. I know Santa doesn't make Christmas and I know if you the most bah humbug person ever, the sight of Santa doesn't help.
I hope you all had a blessed Christmas and were able to spend it with the one you love XOXO

Bigger than Ben Hur, then very low key

School is over, as well as Zach's birthday. He turned eight. His party was a dinosaur themed party. We had a playdate the week before his party, I told my friend that I was so busy with Zach's party, she said "that's because you go bigger than Ben Hur with his parties" and I do.

Everything has to match, I made bunting with dinosaur fabric, made dinosaur crayons and organised a dinosaur dig.

It's back on with Dim and S, Zach talks about C, he is six. I said to Dim, if it is serious and if Zach is going to see them a lot, they might as well come to his party. They did, she seemed nice enough, but was really to busy to really chat to her.
And now it is nearly Christmas and it is a very low key event here. This year it is just Zach and me. My parents and one of my brothers live in Tasmania, my oldest brother is in Darwin and my youngest brother who lives in Melbourne, is going on holidays with his girlfriend. So it is just us and that is just nice.
We have done Christmassy things, we went to see the Myer Christmas window in the city. We went by train with one of Zach's friends. They waited so well in line to see the windows.

We ended up seeing the golden bees and a puppet exhibition as well.

I put the tree up on the twelfth and have been putting one present under the tree everyday and we are opening presents on Christmas eve. He is getting so many presents because I buy throughout the year and hide at the top of the walk in wardrobe. I can't see what's up there unless I get up on a chair to look. Because of my bad memory, I have gone overboard again.
good night xo

Bessie, Sophie, Louise and Inky

A few years ago I had a beautiful puppy named Bessie, I loved her. Zach loved her. She was sweet. She died in November 2008. I was devastated, Dim had moved out a year and a half before that, but was still tooing and froing and coming and going. He was wrecked about her dying as well.
He dropped Zach off at child care, then picked Bessie up from the vet, brought her home and dug a hole for her to be buried. He didn't want Zach to see Bessie dead. Zach was nearly four.
Four years later Zach still asks about Bessie whenever the topic of death comes up. I told Zach that Bessie was dead, explained as best I could, he didn't understand until a year later when both guinea pigs Sophie and Louise died. When he saw what dead was, and that they were being buried, he wanted to know where Bessie was buried. A few times he tried to dig her up, he wanted to see her. He never tried to dig up Sophie or Louise, I think because he saw them dead, he saw them buried, case closed.
Friday night I discovered Inky the Siamese fighter was dead, sunk at the bottom of his bowl. Zach howled and wanted me to call the fish hospital. We left Inky in his bowl that night. That night we talked about what happens at funerals. I said people say prayers and talk about the person who died, usually nice things are said. Zach liked that.
Saturday morning, we found a little box, put in some cotton wool, a bit of fabric, laid Inky inside, then another bit if fabric on top off him. We were having visitors that morning, so the funeral would have to wait until the afternoon. Zach took pride in showing a dead Inky in his coffin to our visitors. Zach wanted a tombstone, so I found a big flat Pebble from the garden and wrote Inky with red nail polish on it. Zach wanted numbers on it, but no room for dates.

He choose a spot under some flowers for the burial site, daisies.

I dug the hole, put in Inky and covered him up and Zach put down the tombstone. I asked Zach "did you want to say anything, like Inky was a good pet" he did.
He said "Dear God, Inky was a good pet, in Jesus name, Amen." I like it, he combined eulogy and prayer, Mr Efficient.
The next day he asked again about Bessie dying. I asked him if he would feel better if we gave Bessie and the guinea pigs tombstones, yes he would. So I found a few more stones and wrote their names on them. First to the area by the front door "Dear God, Bessie was a good pet, in Jesus name, Amen"

Then to the back courtyard "Dear God, Sophie and Louise were good pets, in Jesus name, Amen"

I asked Zach if he felt better because we gave our pets tombstones

"Yes" then he went off to play in the toyroom

I think the ritual of a funeral and saying good bye is needed, sometimes even for a fish named Inky

Spinach and Ritalin

Some days I crave something sweet. I haven't had anything sweet since the 16th of August, I quite sugar after Zach's major dental work. I've replaced sugar with dextrose which is only glucose and not as sweet as cane sugar which is half glucose and half fructose. Fructose is the baddy for teeth. So the last few nights at work, I've had a cappuccino with chocolate on top, I haven't had that in ages and it was so so yum.
Zach had a paediatrician appointment first week back at school. I talked about Zach's concentration and getting him to focus on his school work. Doctor talked about Ritalin. Big deep breaths and major internal panic. That is not what I want for my child.
I spoke with Dim, it's not what he wants for his child either. I know someone whose child is on Ritalin and she talks it up, but I am not convinced. Of course I wikipediaed Ritalin and not good.
I also googled gluten and autism, I had talked about going gluten free a few years ago and Dim was very reluctant to deal with that. But now he is totally on board and Zach is on a gluten free diet at both houses. So I am gluten free too, I think it will be just easier if we both go gluten free together. So I've been googling recipes, I've made gluten free pizza and it was great! Found rice bread at health food shop and it is good toasted and Zach is eating it. Will see how it goes. Have also discovered amazing gluten free bread at The General Store Cafe in Emerald, I can buy the mix and make it myself! Zach's last gluten meal was this cake that I made for a friends little girl. She turned three and was so excited to eat the ladybug.

So amidst all this diet changes, Zach has been expanding his food choices, we had Mexican the other night, with real corn tortillas and spinach, I hate chopping up iceberg lettuce so I bought a bag of spinach leaves. Zach ate the tortilla with the spinach and then ate more spinach from the bag. Of course I can't convince him that spinach is not from Mexico.
I got a bit down, my car's rear window was smashed just for the hell of it. Nothing was stolen and it put a dent in my week big time. But I recover.

I have been rejuvenated by all this lovely weather that we have been having. My garden is looking great, I have been getting out there, and I am making a spot for my chook house and new chooks, next week I think, still deciding what sorts of chooks. Isa browns are good and decided to convert an old cupboard into a coop.

My avocado tree was covered in tiny flowers, could mean that I am in for a bumper crop this year, peaches next door are full of cute, tiny, furry peaches. Jane said I could have the fruit, poached peaches in marsala with vanilla cream, looking forward to that.

Zach 'fixed' the swing next door with a log from his 'mine' really the pile of stuff next to the wood pile. Thought it was very inventive of him.